the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated

No, I'm not dead, I haven't entered the witness protection program, and I haven't been incarcerated. I've just been in the fifth circle of hell, magazine production, followed by the sixth circle, unexpected article assignments. Ugg. I promise to write something fiber-related soon. Possibly tomorrow, after I finish cutting a gazillion lines out of one column and browbeating several recalcitrant article reviewers.